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First-aid class 急救课

摘要:1、First-aid class 急救课 A man was telling friends how first-aid classes had prepared him for an emergency. I saw a woman hit by a car, he said, She had a broken arm, a twisted knee and a skull fracture. How horrible! What did you do? T

1、First-aid class 急救课
A man was telling friends how first-aid classes had prepared him for an emergency.
"I saw a woman hit by a car," he said, "She had a broken arm, a twisted knee and a skull fracture." "How horrible! What did you do?" "Thanks to my first-aid training I knew just how to handle it. I sat on the curb and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting."
一个男子正在告诉朋友们急救课是如何让他为突发事件做好准备的。
“我看见一个女人被车子撞了,“他说,“她手臂断了,膝盖弯曲,头骨破裂。”“太可怕了!你做了些什么?”“因为我上过急救培训,我知道该怎么处理这件事,我在路边坐下来,把我的头放在膝盖上,以防止昏倒。”

2、校长演讲
—位年迈的校长,在给同学们讲演。过了几个小时,校长如梦初醒地说道:“我觉得很奇怪,为什么每次讲完一层意思,都听见两波式的鼓掌?后来,经过仔细观察,终于明白了,原来是专心听讲的人的掌声,吵醒了打瞌睡的人,所以引起了第二波的掌声。同学们我观察得对不对?”
校长话音刚落,全场哄堂大笑,又是一层两波式的掌声。
这时,校长也发出了笑声。他的笑声又引来了第三波的掌声。

3、踩一棵,挂一科
大学校园的草坪上,总为了抄近路而践踏,后勤处的老师就在草坪边上立下比如“绿草茵茵,踏之何忍”、“芳草青青,脚下留情”之类的警示标语,但是效果不明显。这几天要举行考试,踩草坪的人更多了。
后勤部门到底是有高手云集,想出了一个绝妙的告示牌,从此再有没有人踩草坪。那告示牌上写着:“踩一棵,挂一科。”

4、A shrewd guess 准确的猜测
While taking the 1993 census, I called on a woman who refused to state her age.
I told her I was permitted to make an estimate. "I guess 85 is about right," I said and pretended to write on the form.
"Don't you dare!" she snapped. "I'm only 68."
在做1993年人口普查时,我碰到了一位拒绝说出自己年龄的女士。
我告诉她我有权作出判断。“我认为你是85岁,这没错吧。”我边说边假装往表格上写。
她急了,说道:“你敢,我才68岁。”

5、I Can't Let Him Get Away 不能让他跑了
A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away. So they got married immediately.
The next day she noticed her new husband walking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked." You used to walk straight before we were married."
"Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day.
一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹,便要娶她为妻。她注意到他走路是直着走,而不是横着走。哇!她想,这只雄蟹可真特别,我可不能让他跑了。因此他们立刻结婚了。第二天,她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横着走路了。她深感不安。“你怎么了?”她问,“我们结婚前你可是直着走路的。”“哦,宝贝,”他回答说,“我不可能每天都喝那么多。”

6、Very stupid robbers 两个笨贼
Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, "I hear sirens. Jump!"
The second one said, "But we're on the 13 th floor!"
The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious(迷信的) !"
两个盗贼在一家旅馆偷东西。第一个说:“我听到警报响了,快跳吧!”
第二个说:“但是我们现在在第13层啊!”第一个尖叫着回敬他:“都什么时候了,还这么迷信!”

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